I first posted these in our ezine in April 2003, and I’ve tested more of them than I probably should admit. But remember… if you try them, you don’t know me.
- Reverse digits on students’ grades. Wait 5 minutes and announce “Today is Backwards Day!”
- Remove legs from chairs and desks. Comment to students about how much they have grown.
- Stop lesson every 10 minutes and pretend to have a conversation with someone on the P.A.
- Take kids outside for recess. Make them sit down and watch you play on the monkey bars.
- Rearrange the room before school starts. Do it again during lunch. Do it again during P.E.
- Grade papers at your desk. Laugh hysterically every 3rd paper. Moan sadly every 5th. On the 15th, you must either laugh sadly or groan hysterically.
- When children ask if they can go to the bathroom, tell them “Yes, just don’t leave the room.
- Spend the first hour of the day speaking a foreign language. Pig-Latin counts.
- Pretend to have forgotten all of their names, call them by names of characters from “Lord of the Rings”
- Hide under the desk. Demand that students pay a toll when turning in work.
- Read “The 3 Little Pigs.” Cheer for the wolf.
- When counting, always leave out the number 8.
- Show up late for class. Bring a note from your mom.
- Show up at student’s house. Mess up their room.
- Bring blanket and pillow to school. Take a nap while the students are reading.
- Come to school in pajamas, lay across desk, pretend to be sleeping when students arrive. Snore.
- Load bus for field trip. Drive to 7-11, buy yourself a Coke, return to school.
- While students are out, sharpen all of their pencils down to nubs. Tell them the “Pencil Fairy” must have come.
- Trade places with another teacher. Answer only to her name.
- Flip lights on and off. Ask repeatedly why they are not working.
- Teach entire lesson facing the wrong direction.
- Go to bathroom. Return with shirt inside-out.
- Superglue students’ pencils to their desks.
- Move clock forward 30 minutes. Line up to go home, express worry over why the dismissal bell is not ringing.
- Call students during summer break. Tell them you are still waiting for their homework.
- Every time a student gets out of his seat, yell “I’m telling the Principal!’ and stomp out of the room.
- With pen resting behind your ear, exclaim that someone has stolen your pen and demand to know who did it.
- Hand out worksheets 3 levels higher than your grade. Tell them it is a review and counts as a major test grade.
- Toilet paper your own room. Pretend not to notice it is there.
- Move all desks and chairs to the hallway. Sit on the floor and start teaching.
- Have different children stand up at random intervals throughout the day. Sing “Happy Birthday” to them. Change to the Barney Song every 5th student.
- Hot glue lockers shut.
- Sneak out to hallway. Switch everyone’s lunches.
- Eat lunch with your students. Complain about your lunch and ask to trade. Keep trading until you get your lunch back.